Speaking to Kids using Emotional Intelligence
So yesterday Honor told me about a conversation she had with her after school program teacher. Honor, a five year old, very impressionable soul was asked “why her dad never picks her up.”
Just in case someone asks your child an inappropriate question, here’s how I handled it:
The first thing I did was cry, not in front of H but as I walked home from dropping her off at school. Next, I called a friend and asked her if I should address the situation. While I was explaining the situation I thought, duh... of course I should. H is my child and her feelings should be protected, 100%.
First lesson: Do not allow anyone to talk to your kids without using emotional intelligence.
Here’s why their conversation was a problem:
1. It’s no ones business.
2. This adult didn’t consider that an absent dad could have meant a deceased dad, an irresponsible dad, or no dad at all because women adopt, or use alternative pregnancy resources. (can you imagine???)
3. She has seen me every single day and never once asked me, which tells me she knew better!
Honor retained this conversation but waited, possibly a whole week or at least the weekend, to tell me. My intuition tells me it was bothering her.
Second lesson: When speaking to other people’s children, please remember to use grace, love, and most importantly emotional intelligence.
I don’t need anybody else shedding light on a situation she’s gracefully adjusting to... and I’m a boss. Her dad is very present in her life, but I handles mine. I drop her off, go handle my business, run some errands, take care of me, pick her up, take care of her, and do it all over again, gracefully.