There's Joy in "Never Settle"
At the core of who I am, I am just a girl who decided to not settle. I find that settling in any aspect of my life makes me feel terrible. I found that not settling, in any area of my life, was the most freeing thing I could have ever done for myself.
I recently got the chance to sit down with my friend, Nakeia, who I find endless inspiration from. She's a phenomenal woman, and I love her movement to not settle. You can learn more about it over at her blog; but when we sat down, she turned the tables on me and SHE was the one asking the questions! Love this woman.
And PS - If you love the shirt I am wearing as much as I do, you can grab one in Nakeia's shop. It says, "Just a girl who decided not to settle."
Nakeia: I was excited to introduce you, but do you say that you are?
Destiney: Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with me! I'm Destiney, just a woman who is finding her way through life. I just happen to do so a little more publicly thanks to social media. I'm a mother, an entrepreneur, a blogger, and my daughter, Honor's biggest fan!
Nakeia: You are all of that. lol Now tell me who you were before knowing all of that?
Destiney: Before I had Honor, I still loved who I was and who I was working on becoming. Motherhood just really helped me find myself in a way I didn't see coming. It's been a driving force in me that I'm so grateful for, you know... The last four years have changed me and molded me in some incredible ways.
Nakeia: I hear you. I always say: the day I found out I was going to become a mother changed the game for me. It was a defining moment, for sure. Was there a moment in your life when you made a conscious decision NOT to settle?
Destiney: Yes! For sure! Right before I became pregnant with my daughter, I was in a really deep depression. I made a conscious decision, when I found out that I was pregnant, to no longer settle in my life or for THAT kind of life. I wasn't going to bring her into the world while I was down and out. I don't think that everyone can pull themselves out alone, and I don't trivialize the significance of depression. But, for me personally, I was able to use my pregnancy to propel myself mentally into a better place, and ever since then I will not settle in any area or aspect of my life.
Nakeia: Wow. I totally relate. I am sure many other mothers, or just women in general can relate to that. Most have been down and out at some point in life. And you are right. It's difficult to find your way out on your own. Where would you be had you NOT made that decision?
Destiney: I honestly don't know where I would be today, had I not fought so hard to beat my depression and change my life. I think people, especially depressed people, don't have the motivation to make changes. If it hadn't been for Honor, I don't know what would have been strong enough to pull me out of it. It really breaks my heart to even think about it, but it's an important part of who I am today.
Nakeia:Wow again. As someone who has struggled with depression, and even diagnosed with anxiety, I appreciate this conversation so much. How has making that decision changed your life?
Destiney: It's night and day. Depression is a double edged sword and it affects all aspects of your life. My life after beating depression, and being able to say I'll no longer make choices that led me down that path, is so empowering. It's like coming up for air.
Nakeia: Yes! What advice would you give to someone who is tired of settling or on the verge of settling?
Destiney: Stop before you make any more decisions and look at your life going both ways. If you settle, or if you don't. Will your long term actually be better or only your short term? Don't let the allure of short term happiness overhaul the importance of what you can do with your future if you allow yourself not to settle. You can beat depression too. Becoming Honor's mother is what helped pull me out. Find something in your life that is important enough for you to hold on to, and let it hep pull you out. There is life after depression. Come up for some air, girl!
To learn more about Nakeia and her awesome movement to never settle, check out her blog and social media links below!