7 Things Girls Without Fathers Want You To Know
I know I'm not the only one who has laid in bed at night, thinking of how life might have been different if my father had showed up in my life. Last night was one of those nights for me, and I started reflecting on how it has played a role in who I am today, and how maybe it's not what most people would automatically think of when they hear "girls without fathers."
I decided to write down 7 Things Girls Without Fathers Want You to Know:
1. We are really strong.
Let's get something straight right now, missing a father you didn't have doesn't make you weak. It makes you human. It takes strength to navigate this world without guidance from a parent. For girls that's especially true when it comes to having an absentee father. A father is supposed to teach his daughter how she should be loved and treated; and without him there, we had to be strong enough to know that despite that, girls without fathers are worth being treated like the queens we are.
2. Not all GIRLS WITHOUT FATHERS want to settle in relationships.
I read that one way many fatherless daughters try to fill the void is through their willingness to settle when it comes to finding a partner. I also hear the term "daddy issues" thrown around way too loosely. Not having a father in my life was something that was chosen for me, but I'm sure as hell not going to choose that same fate for my daughter. The honor of having an impact on my decisions does not go to a man who didn't show up.
3. We take longer to open up...
Remember those standards I was just mentioning? Yeah, well they come in here too. We know what it looks like to be hurt by someone, and we don't feel the need to open up to every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Girls without fathers will wait. Don't take it as us being cold, or having baggage. Be honored that we see potential in you (if you're still around, there's potential), and know it will be worth the wait...
4. ... but when we do, we love hard.
... because when we do open up, we love hard. We don't take a good thing for granted. We have a lot of love to give, and we save it like the precious gift it is. We hoard it in our little "broken" *insert eye roll* hearts, until we are ready to give it away. Get ready to be loved like you've never been loved before.
5. The idea of our wedding day is bittersweet.
We can thank romantic movies for this one, but the idea of a father walking his daughter down the aisle on her wedding day is ingrained in most little girls heads. The image of this doesn't get lost on us girls without fathers, despite our high standards and finding our worth on our own. We still get to mourn the loss of having that father figure in our life on big occasions. Again, this doesn't make us weak. Dealing with our feelings is important.
6. We don't need you to fix us, we aren't broken.
We've had a lifetime of learning to cope with the hand we were dealt, and we got this. As our partner, we want your understanding and acceptance. We didn't get with you for your handyman skills (although that doesn't hurt). The point is, the best thing you can do for a girl without father, is work on YOU. Don't worry about fixing us. Worry about being the best damn version of yourself for us you can be, and we will do the same for you. And moreover, if the day comes, be the best father in the world.
7. Father's Day is a day we are looking forward to enjoying one day, with our spouse.
Speaking of being a father, we can't wait to celebrate this with you. It's been kind of a sore spot for most of our lives. We got to watch other families celebrate with their dads. In school, teachers would ask what we did with our fathers to celebrate. It felt like there was a beacon of light shining on us and everyone knew we didn't have a dad. But no longer. We can actually celebrate now, because unlike us, our sons and daughters won't ever be fatherless and that is something to really celebrate.
So I say this to you, if like me you grew up without a dad and sometimes at night you lie awake wondering how life could have been different; don't feel bad about that. Keeping that reminder in your mind, will keep you from ever settling for someone who would do the same to your daughter one day. We are queens, and we deserve to be treated like it. Keep blessing the world ladies!
"Being a committed father is the manliest thing you will ever do." - Josh Levs